Monday, October 30, 2006

I've been taking advantage of the sem break by seeing my favorite people in the world. I'm sorry for ranting the other day. My friends know I love them so much.

Anyhow, I met up with S for coffee and dinner after having lunch with my family. Talked about a friend's upcoming wedding, what to wear, who's dating who...but mostly, the concern was her baby girl A, my goddaughter who's been diagnosed with Kabuki syndrome, a rare genetic disorder that has no cure. Kids with KS are speech/hearing and usually intellectually impaired. Their immune system is weak and in fact, baby A is in and out of the hospital almost every month. There are only 150 or so documented cases in the world. I've been thinking of ways to help S because therapy and hospitalization costs are just too much. I don't have the money to offer but I'm thinking of projects that would raise funds for the baby. I'll make sure to find time and work on this.

S has been blaming herself for her baby's condition. Although the doctors told her the causes of KS are unknown, S still believes that it's karma. Karma sa lahat ng kalokohan niya. She thinks it's payback time now. Well, I told her things happen for a reason. Sounds unfair for the baby, right? Cruel even. But then that's just how life is. You just got to live and hope. Reminds me of Crooked Finger in Antonia's Line: it is absurd to believe that the constant pain afflicting us is there purely by chance...on the contrary, misery is the norm, not the exception...

To me, accepting that misery is constant means living. Where there is acceptance lies hope. Wala yata akong sense pero iyon eh.

So there we were in a mall roaming around, the din drowning our voices as we were strolling. Somehow, we both found solace in Book Sale, perhaps searching for answers in second-hand pages that definitely cost much less.

After dinner, we hailed a cab for her. She got a text message to go straight to the hospital because the baby was running a fever again.

Sigh.

I always say labo. Labo ng mga pangyayari sa buhay. Labo ng mga tao. Labo ng mundo. Minsan nasasabi ko rin, labo ng Diyos. Then again, I am jolted awake. Hindi. Hindi malabo ang Diyos. Tao lang ang malabo. Tayo lang talaga.

Tonight, I am determined to rise above all I'm going through. With P, things will not be impossible. With my family, things will have a purpose. With my friends, things will have meaning. Ayoko nang maging malabo.

2 Comments:

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