These days, P and I have been planning our meals carefully so we can avoid too much food wastage. Cooking for two can get more expensive if not planned well. And so, tonight, we did the same. While he was out on an errand, he texted me what we'd have for dinner. Pork steak, steamed talong
and talbos ng kamote
. Weird combination? Well, we love it :) We also had mango shake using the mangoes he put in the freezer, which had actually turned into slush. They could've gone to the garbage, but thanks to the Osterizer, we had our own fruit shake for the night.
When P and I sat down to eat, we were amazed: we've actually whipped up a feast! So much for trying to lose my flab in time for this Friday's beach trip.
P's actually the chef of the house while I do the rest :) Hey, washing the dishes, pots and pans, wiping the countertops and all, are no easy tasks, mind you. But I like it. P's a terrific cook but seriously, I can never trust him when it comes to cleaning up :)
And so, despite everything, despite having to tighten our belts, we are thankful for all the simple pleasures that we are blessed with everyday.
P and I have developed this habit of saying each others' name like "Tintinnnnn!" or "P...!!!" This is when either of us gets into that moment of realizing that we are indeed together. Yes, sometimes we realize this and we just can't believe it. If you know what we had to go through to finally end up with each other, you'd know what I mean. How many people do actually end up with the one he/she truly desires to be with? Poets have waxed, well, poetic, about it. Painters, sculptors, composers have depicted this human predicament in their art and music. And still, that longing, that agony of not finding him/her will always be there. In the same way, when you do find the One, you agonize over the feeling of what--unbelievable joy? Bliss?
Why am I mulling over this now? No, it's not the dinner. It's just that I keep wondering, "what did I do to deserve having this kind of love?"
I have three close friends who are in complicated relationships. One's hooked up with a married guy who says he wants to leave his wife but can't because the wife's weak and suicidal. Another's also with a married guy who claims he's separated but just stays in the wife's place for their son
. The third one's also with a married guy whose wife's clueless about the existence of my friend in the guy's life. All three of my friends are in their mid-twenties and are all career-women: one's a chief accountant, another's a doctor and the third's a training officer. All of them are strong women, talented and brilliant in their own fields. But they have one thing in common: their men and their relationships. Now, I myself have been in problematic relationships in the past and to say that I have learned my lessons well would be an understatement. But that's the truth. Still, I don't want to be self-righteous about this whole thing because, yeah, look who's talking, right?
Well, as I have been telling my friends whom I all love dearly, they need to make a decision: either they decide to get out of their relationships and move on, or, stay committed to these men and wait for what happens next. The three of them have expressed, in one way or another, a discontent about their situations. The pain of not being the only one is there. The fear of being found out is there. The uncertainty of not being with the guy for good is there. In some instances, they've even expressed that "they're just going with the flow." And this is what I don't get...
I'm not even talking about morals here because that can be bull, you know? I believe in choices, you know me. My friends have chosen this situation for themselves and if they can live with it and if they believe that this is what they want in life, no problem with it. But I know, there's something there. There's a catch.
Ah, why did I even get into thinking about this in the first place??? This post has gotten pointless. Now, I don't know where I'm going. Sad thing is, I have a feeling my friends don't either...