Feter Fifer

No, don't mind the title (as if this blog actually spews decent titles, decent entries). I just want to stop thinking about things. You got that? Does it make sense?

I am now having withdrawal symptoms from having Mama, Iya and my cousins Barry and Keng over for three days. I miss hearing them going about the house, especially Iya with her kulit "hiiiiiii" all the time. I miss having having Mama around, gave me a sense of---I dunno, security? warmth?

I said I wanted to get my mind off things.

I'm back to work tomorrow. Meeting in school and then that convention of Waldorf schools worldwide kicks off on Saturday. I'll be hauling my gorgeous ass (if my students chanced upon this blog, I'd have to explain that using the word ass was really necessary) to Manila for a week.

Gahd, I need to do something about my writing. I'm really going crazy. A secret: I have been keeping this longing to write fiction for quite some time now. Yep, I know my poetry is far far from being good enough, to think my poems are what have gotten me into workshops, fellowships, a teaching job, publications, affairs... But my heart is really longing to weave stories, prose...

Sana kayanin. I don't know what to do if I wouldn't be able to write again. Inasmuch as I love teaching and am really working on it as a career, writing is what I breathe for.

So help me God.

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I have a list of topics to blog about. Can I just kill myself for simply not getting the job done?